Amy . . .

What would you like to know? I am fun, but crazy. I have a most perfect husband, and 2 cats named Samson and Delilah. We are presently working on adopting a little girl from China and have a separate blog for that. I am a Christian and am working on a better relationship with him. I live in the Atlanta area and love sharing stories with people. I am also a pediatric nurse and I love it! I love to talk and meet new people and I love Disney Cruising

Monday, February 16, 2009

missing God

I have to be honest. I have been fighting Satan for a while. I do think he is trying to rob me from my joy and steal my peace. I have just been worrying lately ALL of the time. I have been worrying about things I can not control and its consuming my thoughts.

The adoption-not worried at all. Beyond thrilled to get LynnMarie in my arms.

I guess I feel inadequate. I am not giving 100% again and I am not glorifying God in all I do, and yes that is my goal. I have not been good at eating, I could be exercising more, I could focus on cleaning on home and getting more organized. These are the things I need and want to do but instead I do whats comfortable. I want to be a better friend. I have been blessed by many friends who have just been so generous lately.

I miss my quiet time with God. I have not been having it and I really miss it. I miss moments where He just speaks to me. I am just not quiet anymore. I miss that intimate relationship that He desires so much. I miss spending time in His word because I always learn when I am studying.

I fear. I fear a lot of things and that takes away peace. I fear the world we live in. I fear some of the decisions the President has already made. I fear sharing my opinion. I fear what others can do to our country. I fear those of us who are believers not taking a stand for what we believe in. I fear not being satisfied with what I have. I fear not having these feelings. I fear not giving. I fear making decisions based on what is comfortable and not what God desires of me, even when it is heavy on my mind.

Nope. I am not depressed. Just sorting out some feelings and emotions.

Anyone else feel like this?Because apparently admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

11 comments:

Nikki said...

Yes, I am with you 100% on all of it.

BrownEyedSteph said...

I agree. All the feelings you described are daily struggles for me, too.

Natalia said...

I tend to get caught up in fear too. It's nice though because God is ready whenever you are. Take a few minutes of quiet time and praise Him. He will bring you peace!

aworkingmomsjoy said...

I know what you are feeling...BTDT. Sometime you just have to let go and let God...

Let go of the worry and let God fill you with HIS security. Let go of the fear and let God fill you with HIS peace.

Satan's attacks are constant but we have to stand on the Word to battle him... "the battlefield of the mind" (a good book).

So you are going to be holding your little girl and you will be giving her YOUR best...Jesus.

In my prayers, Sandy

(ps. This is my second time writing this due to the computer acting up. I don't blame the devil for everything but sometimes he just ticks me off, lol.)

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Hugs to ya...

Angela Ramsey said...

I feel you....I am so there! Our pastor preached on distractions yesterday and I realized how distracted I have been lately and how those distractions have kept me from God. I think satan knows that if he can just keep us distracted then he has nothing to worry about. No matter how long my day has been or how tired I am, I have resolved to spend some time with Him everyday! I know there will probably be even more distractions thrown at me but I am ready for them!

Daddy Forever said...

I use to be a glass half full kinda of guy. Now that I'm a dad, I see every thing as half empty. I worry all the time now.

R.K. said...

I've been in your shoes and I can tell you beyond a doubt that Satan does not exist and your worries are for not.

"No one is so terribly deceived as he who least suspects it."
-Soren Kieregard.

redmaryjanes said...

I will pray for you Amy. I think you are having very normal feelings, there is a big lifechange ahead for you. But you are going to be an outstanding Mom!
Are you going to post about your shower this Saturday?

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

I think we all have lots of fears these days. As far as your alone time with God....it will get less once you get that precious little girl but it doesn't mean you don't still love God and are a not good Christian.

Pam and Jeff said...

Yes. I understand. My mantra is Psalms 56:3 "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." I have to live by this verse. Fear gets in the way. Just writing this, is helping me. :)