I'm about to post on the adoption blog but thought I would update here.
Nothing new. I'm still me. Still trying to get up to 5 miles on the treadmill before China.
I think God's working in my head and heart right now because I have the craziest thoughts going on.
Emotionally I am experiencing fear,joy,hope, excitement,anticipation and other things.
perhaps its my age, but I am questioning a lot of things. Maybe I am not questioning, just sorting out things. So if you could, please pray for a sense of peace to take over me.
Those of you who have read this blog for a while or know me, I hope know that I am a Christian, a God follower. I have known God my life and have trusted him for as long I have know. I know that his plans are much bigger than mine will ever be and I prefer his plans over mine, no matter how long it takes.
Recently, I have been wondering if I have got it all wrong. Not the God thing, I fully believe He is the creator of the Universe and knows me inside out. I do know that judgement will come when I experience earthly death. I know that God has promised some great things and I know that I am not worthy of it. But I am not sure I am living the way I need to be. Maybe I am praying the wrong way, I don't know. I hope this is just a phase. I truly hope to become the woman God created me to be. I am not giving as much as I do. I have not made the best decisions regarding money. Here is my problem. Those are commandments in the Bible. Its a simple one, not hard to understand. God also asks us to help orphans, widows, the poor and the needy. I am not doing that. I am frustrated, do you ever get that way??
Ugh....I have some changing to do
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6 comments:
Frustrated?....um all the time! At least you are thinking about it....many people just exist and don't think about their purpose.
I understand where you are because I am in the same place. I think that the great thing about God is that He knows us inside and out and He is continuing to make me the person he wants me to be. It is not an easy process getting rid of the motives and the attitudes that are not of him, and the spiritual warfare that goes on because the enemy does not want me to experience the abundant life that God has for me. I am learning to take it one day at a time and for me the waiting process has been excrutiating at times but I know it will be worth it! I know you Michael will be great parents and you are doing your part to help the orphans!
I don't think you can pray the wrong way. I think God is happy if you just talk to Him. He knows whats in your heart.
I'm praying for both you and Michael!
I question and try to sort things out every day. To me the world seems totally crazy right now. I'm trying to reconcile what is going on with what I believe with what I think God would want. It's not easy. And yes, I get frustrated too.
you are going to be okay with this parenting thing. Just let God work. He will get you where He wants you and He will perfect you like His Son.
You know that I am not that religious but respect those who are... and I am sure 'God' will not hold it against you that if you don't think of everyone all the time and take some time for yourself... after all... you have a baby coming and there comes a time when you need to think about you also... maybe I have this wrong and maybe I have opened a can of worms (?) but I do think that you can only help others so much that you do need to take time for yourself... without you being together and well, how can you help others...
Hugs to ya...
Yes, I do get this way. And, I sometimes wonder, what am I living for? Life is so short. Living for THE day instead of today, not always so easy, but so important!
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