I haven't posted anything serious in a while and I am not sure this will make any sense to you.
I have doing a lot of thinking about myself and how people view me. I think the 2 are totally different and I am not sure if that is good or not or if I should even work on that.
We had a counseling session where it was made clean that I have a strong personality. Many people do. At work, I am the laid back, nonassertive type of nurse. That's just me. I do have a few OCD things about me, but I am very much a type B personality. Its always easier to pick out things you don't like about others and its the same with me. I have many issues, may people know that. I don't mean, like hidden secrets in a closet, or issues from my past I need to work on. I rarely trust people, even my friends. People call me paranoid. I try to be responsible for others actions. If my sister or brother ever made a comment to someone that was mean, I would quickly add "what he meant was.." I don't like to see people hurt. I cry easy. I cry really easy on really stupid things..For example, I boohooed the entire viewing of Monsters Inc. I don't know what.It was not hormones. But my niece Janie was about 2 at the time, and she looks just like Boo. It was horrible when the monster scared her. That's a whole story.
Another example, Michael and I watched the movie Radio. As soon as Cuba Gooding Jr appeared, I used every napkin we were going to use for our popcorn. I find it odd I never cried this easy when I was single. My friends always knew I put up a front and pretended I didn't care much. I hate to see people made fun of in the movies, tv or life. I put myself in their shoes and wonder how they feel. I hate that feeling. Am I totally whacked.
I think about this coming season and the kids who don't have Christmas, who don't have a family. I want to fix that. In college, I "adopted" many families and bought Christmas gifts for the families and kids. I want to do that again. I want the money to help others. I want to see people smile. I want people to have what I have. I don't want to cry anymore. I have to turn off Katrina shows because of videos they show.
I know that many people are like me and cry over these things. But tell me, how many people cry at the Foldgers coffee commercial when the son comes home from college and wakes his family up by making coffee? That's just wrong. Anything, that has these family "moments" makes me tear up. Perhaps its the fear of not having these moments. I had a childhood full of wonder and magic and surprise. My parents introduced me to the love of God, and I will always be thankful for that. Bare with me, I warned you these were random thoughts.
I am not trying to get jerry Maguire on you. I am selfish. Typing these words makes me feel better. I am sure I will be posting on more events that make me cry. Being a pediatric nurse on neuro floor where I take care of patients with brain tumors and other conditions doesn't really help either.
I am going to stop now so I can get ready for this season!
Happy Thanksgiving friends,
Amy
Amy . . .
What would you like to know? I am fun, but crazy. I have a most perfect husband, and 2 cats named Samson and Delilah. We are presently working on adopting a little girl from China and have a separate blog for that. I am a Christian and am working on a better relationship with him. I live in the Atlanta area and love sharing stories with people. I am also a pediatric nurse and I love it! I love to talk and meet new people and I love Disney Cruising
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3 comments:
I love you honesty, and those commercials do it to me too. I'm not sure if you have kids yet or are still working through the process, but once you have your own little one, it gets worse. Buy stock in Kleenex.
We are presently adopting a daughter from china
I cry alot more now than i used to , i cry every time i watch steel magnolias.although for years i watched it without incident, i also relate to Nemo's dad in finding nemo, now i understand how after he lost his spouse he wanted to put his kid in a bubble. Your already a mother in your heart and your maternal instints are taking over. I can tell you will be a wonderful Mom,and being senstive can be a really good thing,Youare so compassionate to others and that's one of your spiritual gifts from God,and your using it so of course your hearts going to overflow and be emotional.sorry this was so long.:) God Bless,happy Thanksgiving.
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