Amy . . .

What would you like to know? I am fun, but crazy. I have a most perfect husband, and 2 cats named Samson and Delilah. We are presently working on adopting a little girl from China and have a separate blog for that. I am a Christian and am working on a better relationship with him. I live in the Atlanta area and love sharing stories with people. I am also a pediatric nurse and I love it! I love to talk and meet new people and I love Disney Cruising

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

friendship

So, its 2:33 a.m here at Scottish Rite and I have checked my children. They are really sleeping. Its calm and when its calm I start to think.

I love love love meeting new people which is why I so enjoyed the blog party and I hope to see some of those great people again. I hope some of them become great friends.

Do you ever just feel like you are not worthy? Worthy for friendship? you guys know that I struggle with jealousy. I meet so many people who I think are better than me. Some of those people help me want to be a better person. For that I am thankful. But there is still a part of me who knows I will never be good enough to be a friend of some people. I hate that I think like that. Its just part of who I have always been. I am working on this......I know that no one has it all together and the face that we are all different makes this world a sweeter place.
I am not the best friend to have. I love getting together with friends whether its walking or having lunch. I rarely invite anyone to do anything for a variety of reasons.

a) I hate people turning me down. Even if its a real excuse, I automatically take it personally. I really take a lot of things personally.
b) I don't like to call people because I really do not want to interrupt people during their personal time. Especially friends with kids, I am always afraid I am goin to wake someone up.

I know excuses excuses

Anyway, I hope to be a better friend in the next year. I have learned what amazing friends I have and that is scary. I actually have friends that I trust. I have friends that have demonstrated such love through gifts, words, time and prayers. I am beyond blessed. And then there are my blogging friends who have encouraged me through the blog and I hope to meet so many of you one day....

Still working on my address book for Christmas. regardless if you are a friend in my online world or not, I want to get your address..

Friends, Christmas is in the air and if you can remember last season, I am a Christmas girl.

There will be a lot of blogging in December..

9 comments:

Jose said...

I have almost no friends, sure I call my coworkers friends but there is no relationship outside work. I also do not make friends with my neighbors, when I do see them a wave of the hand is as far as I go. However online friends I have a few. Isn't if funny how even through a machine we have discovered that there are real human beings on the other side. Amy, I am proud to be your online friend.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

I struggle with self esteem too...hang in there..I think you are a great friend!

Annie said...

I'm amazed at how many women feel the way you do. I started working, after being home with my children for 17 years, in August. I work at a women's gym and have met some incredible ladies. Yet, so many of them say they have no friends. It's really shocking and so very, very sad.

Why does this happen?

I'm a "fixer" and I just want to fix this!!!!!

Simply sign me,

Your friend :) Annie

amy said...

this came across as a 'i dont have friends' post.
sorry. i was just thinking and writing at the same time

Angela Ramsey said...

I understand completely what you are talking about. I am not by nature the initiator either. I am trying to work on this but it is not something I do on a regular basis. I think some of it is not wanting to be rejected but I think personality comes into play also. I don't call my friends for the same reasons but the really cool thing is that if I really something that I could call them anytime day or night. I guess as we get older we redefine our definition of what a friend is.

Pam and Jeff said...

I had a deep conversation with Jeff about this yesterday. Through some of the things he went through, he put like this to me. Pam-There is no one better than you. There is no one worse than you. We are all on the same level. God made all of us. We are each his child. You deserve just as much as much as anyone else. I have been telling myself that all day today. I have a situation going on right now that makes me cringe. These words are making it easier.

nmburleson said...

Amy I can relate to everything you wrote! I used to hate being on a phone call with a friend and having to cut them off because I had to go do something. I didn't want to make them feel bad. Then one of my good friends taught me that when you call or somebody calls you, you just make it known at the beginning of the conversation that you only have 5 minutes to talk because you're getting ready to leave or whatever. Took so much pressure off!

TeaMouse said...

I feel that way a lot of the time too. Then I'll hear God's voice in my head and he's telling me that people really do want to be with me and spend time with me. I don't know what this unworthiness is about but it's hard to have on your mind.

I'm doing a Christmas contest - check out tomorrow's post if you'd like to enter.

I look forward to reading your Christmas posts - I too am all Christmas, it's my favorite time of year.

Natalia - Embracing the Weight Loss Journey said...

Hey Amy! I have a new blog location and I'm doing a giveaway! It's a bracelet my sister designed. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment! :)