If any of you know me outside my blogs, you will know my mind always has several things going on at one time. In fact, if my metabolism was as quick as the thoughts in my head, I would a lot skinnier. Nothing much going on. Have had a good couple of days at work, even when the 4yo sibling got her head stuck in a chair and we had to drill her out...(a whole other story)
so here is what is presently in my head. I am a people pleaser.I will do anything to get people to like me and to make people happy. This is not always a good thing. I am learning how to love who I am and not worrying about impressing others, which has always been one of my weaknesses. when you go so far away to make people happy, sometimes you sacrifice a lot of things and you can lose your self in the process.I want to be liked. i want to be cool. i have always wanted that but my fear is becoming snobby and thinking i am better than others. I despise that character trait and hope it never develops.
What do I want? i want to quit wanting material things and I want to just love. I want to love everyone unconditionally and sometimes it really hard. this post was much better in my head before I started typing.
I am frustrated that I am not at my best. The One who created me deserves so much more than what I am giving that its shameful. like totally embarrassing. I am not worthy of the Love that covers me. That is what I want, to live life the best way possible. Physically, mentally, socially, spiritually. I am not there yet. I just think there is something wrong with me.. Ugh, I hate that feeling.
I love the season coming up. I wish I felt this way all year round. I find it to be a season of hope. A season to give and love. God chose to live among us through Jesus. I cant understand why that tiny baby grew up to die a painful death so that I might have a hope and a future. I am so not worthy of this gift and yet most of the time my life is not demonstrating how grateful I am. anyone else ever feel like this????
But it is the season of hope, love, family, joy and Christmas music....love it!!!!!!
Amy . . .
What would you like to know? I am fun, but crazy. I have a most perfect husband, and 2 cats named Samson and Delilah. We are presently working on adopting a little girl from China and have a separate blog for that. I am a Christian and am working on a better relationship with him. I live in the Atlanta area and love sharing stories with people. I am also a pediatric nurse and I love it! I love to talk and meet new people and I love Disney Cruising