Amy . . .

What would you like to know? I am fun, but crazy. I have a most perfect husband, and 2 cats named Samson and Delilah. We are presently working on adopting a little girl from China and have a separate blog for that. I am a Christian and am working on a better relationship with him. I live in the Atlanta area and love sharing stories with people. I am also a pediatric nurse and I love it! I love to talk and meet new people and I love Disney Cruising

Friday, January 19, 2007

Hurt Heart/warning you might cry

My heart hurts. This evening, I was able to spend a few minutes with my sweet patient and her family. They had so much support but I am glad I was able to spend a few minutes with them. I left in tears. I knew this night would change the dynamics of this family forever. I will cherish every word I heard in that room. We talked about memories and other nurses in the hospital

Early Early this morning, the ICU nurses called me to tell me my sweet sweet patient passed away.

I almost got angry. Truly angry. Never has death angered me but it almost got me. My sweet sweet patient whom I met 3 years ago met Jesus tonight. Her parents had to leave and spend their first night away from her. Oh how I pray they found rest. Mom is having baby number 2 in just 9 days. My sweet patient never got to meet her new brother or sister.

As you can tell, I have been emotional about this. As a pediatric nurse, I have never had to face the loss of a patient while at work. I am probably still in shock as I am still expecting to see this family every few months for a treatment. It hit me that this was final. As I said goodbye to this family, it was a door closing. For 3 years, I have looked forward to visiting this patient and seeing how well she was doing. There won't be anymore visits.

I spent time with the ICU nurses who cared for her before and after death as well as her doctor and the chaplain. As horrible as losing her is, it truly was a beautiful moment and I would have been devastated if I had missed tonight. This family was faithful, they were prayer warriors. They loved everyone. Cancer sucks! Brain tumors suck! Enough said.

Rarely do I share stories from work. Rarely do I get close to a family like I have over the past 3 years. Please pray for this family. Pray for comfort and joy as they plan the funeral of one daughter and prepare for the birth of a new child in just a few days.


Jodi said...

Many hugs and prayers for this family and for you. And your right.. cancer sucks! I have a friend who has recently been diagnosised with breast cancer and it just sucks! She will beat this and we will have one heck of a party when she does!

Paperback Writer said...

My mom is a doctor. I'm not sure how she does it seeing patients that she eventually gets close to who just eventual just pass away.

I'm sorry. I hope you find peace in knowing that your patient isn't in pain anymore.

Sweet Kitty said...

Here are some long distance hugs for you...

With Luv,

Barbara H. said...

I'm so sorry for this loss. One of the hardest things in the world would be to lose a child. I pray that God will draw you and this family close to Himself and give His comfort.

Jane said...

God placed you in the right place at the right time. My prayers are with this precious family as they grieve the loss of this sweet child and also with you as you deal with your grief.

Heart of Rachel said...

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear patient. I realized that it must be very hard on you because you've grown close to one another. I hope that she finds peace now. May her family find strength and understanding in facing this difficult time. God bless.

Buttercup said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your patient. I am sure your presence was a comfort. Take care of yourself.

Bubba said...

I am sorry to hear about the little one. I recently went to a funeral for another 3 year old that succumbed to AML...and I can't imagine what it would be like to be a parent that loses a child. I will definitely pray for them.

Trevor's parents maintained a blog while he was ill, and now his mom has one of her own. Please let me know if your patient's parents want the the case they want support from someone else who has been there.

Happy TT...and God bless. Thanks for stopping by.

Nichole M said...

I haven't gotten cold to the death of my patients and I hope I never do. The death of a child is always harder to deal with than the death of an adult. My prayers are with the family and you. :-(

Amy said...

I just lost my father last week and I know that in no way would it ever compare to losing a child, but I know the hurt. I will be praying for this family. What a testimony they have been. We can rejoice in knowing that the little girl is in Heaven and suffering no more! Thank you for sharing your heart!

Cece said...

I'm so sorry. Her family is in my prayers.

Cyndi said...

a week after dan died a little girl that was 5 the same age as my son died ,she went to my moms daycare until they found out she had cancer, it was really difficult to go to her funeral, but her mom told me Dan who had been praying for this little girl met Brianna at the gates. I know it hard to see a child suffer and atleast she will not hurt anymore.praying for you and her family.God Bless. Me

Vader's Mom said...

You are all in my prayers!

scribbit said...

I think I may have mentioned before (maybe not) how much the nurses at Providence meant to me when we had a death in the family--I'm sure that your support meant a lot to this family in ways you'll never even know.

Jeff said...

My heart is with you, Amy. I have so much respect for what you do, how you can deal with sick children, and thankful to God that he made you to be able to be the right person to ease the pain of the kids and their parents in such hard times.

elementaryhistoryteacher said...

I'm thinking about you and your patient's family.

Lisa Kae said...

Amy, so sorry to hear of this family's loss--and your loss as her care giver. You must be a great Peds Nurse, a friend of mine is one as well. It takes special people to do your job. Two boys in the community I live in, ages 3 and 4, are also being treated for brain tumors/cancer. Where is cancer coming from in people so young? You commented on my new 13 list (or another post), thank you. How do you guys keep up with 4 blogs? I'm so new to this, just trying to make my sight less basic is a huge chore--technology goes over my head. I have family that lives in Gainesville GA and we (hubby and my family) also lived there back in the early 90's. Be sure to get some rest this weekend and take care.

AscenderRisesAbove said...

so true; cancer sucks. sorry for your loss. You sound like a wonderful nurse.

Mitch said...

I turned to Ecclesiastes 3, 1-8. It helped with my Father's passing a few days a go. I will give this to you as a Prayer.

ECC 3:1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

ECC 3:2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

ECC 3:3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

ECC 3:4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

ECC 3:5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

ECC 3:6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

ECC 3:7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

ECC 3:8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Your Brother in the Word Mitch

_gentle said...

What a touching story. I've always said I could not do a job such as yours. Your like an angel on earth and I'm sure the family knows that too. Many blessing to their family and to your's as well.

On a lighter note. Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope your adoption process goes fluidly and it will be very soon that you hold your new child.

God Bless!

Rose said...

I know all too well what it is like to loose a child. My prayers and thoughts will be with the family.